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How Scapegoats are Seen by Society when we are No Contact

No contact isn’t for everyone but for those of you who are no contact, how are you treated by society?

I’m no contact with all of my abusers. I will not keep myself in danger, forget about my needs, and my let myself suffer because I would have been forced to sacrifice my happiness to please others while also being a punching bag (physically and mentally) just because my family could not self reflect, regulate their emotions, and work on themselves.

When I am asked, “How are your parents?” From people I don’t really know well, I used to resort to, “They’re fine.” So they would stop talking about them. So many people find it important to pry into people’s lives when they don’t even know you.

However, when I thought about it I didn’t want to protect the people who intentionally hurt me for years until I was able to escape. So, I began to tell people I was estranged from my family to hopefully just send them to silence and have them talk about something else. That often wasn’t the case.

What would they ask?

“What’s wrong with you?”

“You only get one mother/father?”

“That’s horrible.”

“Why would you disrespect your parents like that?”

“You’ll regret it when they’re gone.”

“Grow up and talk to them.”

It’s disgusting that we are seen as the “bad child” again by society for choosing our sanity instead of being someone’s personal punching bag (physically and mentally).

Why is it not considered as taboo for parents and family members to abuse their children?

It’s considered worse to cut ties with people who abuse you? Most people would not feel this way if the person that you were going no contact with was someone not related to you.

Let’s normalize cutting out people who harm us - blood or not.

You are no one’s punching bag.

- Sarah Marie Vu

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